Holy Scandal, Batman
Christian Bale was today accused of assaulting his mother and sister. The Batman star claims his mum was being a “bat-bitch”
Apparently he was released on bail. I wish my surname could get me out of jail.
Scooby Doo Stunt
A man who ran onto a Queensland racetrack dressed as Scooby Doo was recently fined and is said to “have been acting out of character”.
I think that was the whole point. He was acting in character.
Nicole Kidman’s new Kid, Man
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban just had a baby. To be honest I am not sure of the sex of the child, as they named it Sunday; which really doesn’t help me work it out.
It’s so awkward when kids are given uni-sex names.
“Oh, look at Ashley, she’s so cute!”
“You mean, he”
Also, calling the child Sunday is ridiculous because the birth was on a Monday.
Just imagine a school class.
“Today we are going to go through the days of the week, Adam, you begin”
“Monday”
“Stacey, your turn”
“Tuesday”
“Good, now you Brian”
“Wednesday”
“Now Sunday”
“No, Thursday”
“No, I mean it’s Sunday’s turn”
“Sunday is after Saturday. We just did Wednesday”
You get the gist.
Anyway, apparently the baby was named after the artist Sunday Reed.
Picasso Kidman would have sounded way cooler.
The Fundraiser – a Suck-sess
I used the pun suck-sess, because it sucked.
I was the celebrity guest at the fundraiser, and only one person asked me to sign something for them. And guess what? It was the waiter when I had to pay with my credit card for the chicken skewers because I didn’t have any cash on me.
I mean, seriously. I am a big time internet star.
Lonelygirl15 is your Mr. Squiggle to my Picasso.
And don’t question me if what I just wrote makes sense; I’m in a bad mood and it does.
Why didn’t anybody want to rub shoulders with yours truly? I am very approachable and I even fake smile for photos with weirdos.
I don’t judge the success of the events I appear at on the amount of money that was raised, that is all meaningless to me.
I want people to be able to go home to their friends and family and boast about how they met someone famous. Me.
Great Scott!
The backlot sets at Universal Studios where they filmed the “Back To The Future Trilogy” burnt down this week.
Bet they wished the Delorean was real now.
Interview - Isaac Egan
I managed to get a quick interview in with Isaac Egan, the director of “Sakooz”
Nigel: Hey, did you get a chance to look at my showreel?
Isaac: It was fantastic; do you want to direct the film instead of me?
*parts of this interview may have been fictionalised*